A Cultural Segregation of Love — A Somali Perspective
I was never one of those girls growing up who pictured her fairy tale wedding. There were no princess dresses or flower bouquets. Most importantly, prince charming didn’t have a particular skin colour or practice a specific culture. And yet, somehow I grew up sensationalizing interracial couples and deeming those who marry outside the Somali community as daring.
Interracial marriage in the Somali community is very taboo. When people ask my opinion of interracial marriage, I state that I support it. It may seem shocking to most in the Somali community but I do because in Islam, my religion, it supports interracial marriage and to me that’s what matters. I think there’s nothing more beautiful than two individuals from different worlds who come together on the human connection of love and acceptance.
But for Somali girls interracial marriage is political, no matter how much it’s romanticized in Canadian society. The reality for most Somali girls pursuing interracial marriage today is harsh. Families are involved and relationships can be strained if your family disapproves of the union. But for us it’s even more complicated than that. Marriage is the preservation of cultural lineage which is an unsaid expectation. The preservation of your culture is an honour to your family. Somali millennials who are not born into Canadian society and have immigrant parents sometimes don’t have the privilege to pursue interracial marriage.
When people ask me if I would ever consider being in an interracial marriage, I hesitate to answer. This had me thinking; Why am I afraid to say that I don’t see myself in an interracial marriage? Am I afraid of being deemed racist? I have accepted that interracial marriage is a privilege of the liberal ideology. I was raised along firm cultural values and this has come to influence the type of person I am and would like to be. So why is it so hard for me to explain this?
Truth is, I don’t want my culture to be viewed in a negative light. I have to explain why interracial marriage is a big deal to the liberal majority and assure most that we are not racist, oppressed or prejudiced. Our culture is all we have known and is what guides us. Yes, things need to change within my culture but what the liberal majority doesn’t understand is that I’m still holding onto my identity as a Somali-Muslim girl who grew up in a conservative family that is now living in a western Canadian society.
Hesitation towards interracial marriage is reflected in our parents and elders. It is a fact that our cultural ideas are heavily shaped by the thoughts and opinions that existed in a time and place that was disconnected from the western world. This is the world our elders knew and that has been carried on across borders and shaped how we approach life on this new land.
So when you oppress the freedom of people to openly take their cultural stance you are essentially oppressing the right for them to be who they are freely.
I’m starting to think that it has nothing to do with culture. It all depends on how open-minded a family is. For Somali millennials like myself, who find themselves caught in between both the traditional and liberal world, interracial marriage is like walking a tightrope. If your family is all for it but your community isn’t, it doesn’t really matter. But if your family is closely connected to traditional world, interracial marriage can definitely be an uphill battle without the support of those you love.
