Valentine’s Day: Is It for You?
Channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw and answering frequently asked questions about Valentine’s day.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and for some, it’s a day to commemorate the love you have for your significant other, while for others it’s a reminder of your “loneliness.” Valentine’s Day is one of those days where single people are forced to ask themselves, “Why doesn’t anyone love me?”
Along with answering many other frequently asked questions on Valentine’s Day, I’m going to try my best to help some of you look at the holiday through a slightly different lens.
Does Valentine’s Day cause pressure for single folk to be romantically involved with someone?
Realistically, Valentine’s day is one of the most loved/hated holidays of all time. Some people dread the day, others love it, and most people literally don’t give a crap about it. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Valentine’s day doesn’t have to signify any specific kind of love for a romantic relationship. Instead, it can be about showing love to your friends, your parents, siblings, or even your pets. It shouldn’t be a “reminder” that you’re single, it should allow you the opportunity to show love to the people you love.
Growing up, my mom always celebrated Valentine’s Day by leaving chocolates and little gifts on the bed for me and my siblings, which we saw after we got home from school. I guess because of that, it’s always been a holiday where I’ve never felt I had to be with someone romantically to enjoy it. You should choose to celebrate any holiday however you want, and Valentine’s Day does not have to be about you and a significant other.
Is it socially unacceptable to celebrate Valentine’s Day without a boyfriend/girlfriend?
In regards of whether it’s socially unacceptable, I think there’s a lot of social media delusion surrounding all holidays. Like did you really celebrate Christmas in the GTA if you didn’t post a picture at the Christmas market?
Regardless, you don’t have to validate how you choose to celebrate anything. You don’t have to post a picture on Instagram of the dozen of roses you may have received, and you don’t have to post how you are “forever alone.” Just like you don’t HAVE to dress sexy on Halloween, you don’t HAVE to follow the stereotype of Valentine’s Day. Like I said before, you don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend to enjoy a holiday, therefore you definitely don’t need society’s approval to celebrate it. Maybe take the opportunity to dedicate the day to yourself and self-love. After all, Valentine’s Day is about love.
*Scroll down to see “10 Self-Love Activities Single Girls Can Do On Valentine’s Day.”
Do you think the pressure of Valentine’s Day is different for males than with females?
Yes, I do think it is different. When you’re in a relationship with someone, the man is stereotypically expected to put in the effort, which includes planning the date, paying for dinner, buying the gifts, etc. So men feel pressure because they are generally expected to put in the most work. Ladies, I advise you to let your significant other know what you want and what you expect. He doesn’t have all the answers
And don’t be unrealistic. Think about how much your lover is earning, and their schedule. It’s good to have high expectations, but you also have to be reasonable. Talk to your partner, if he/she says something along the lines of “don’t worry I got this,” then don’t worry. But if they’re feeling a little intimidated or confused, throw some hints, or have a healthy conversation about it. Maybe pay for half? Don’t get carried away with the way Valentine’s Day is commercialized.
Women feel pressure in the way where they also want their men to feel loved, but it’s harder for them to figure out what to buy or give because generally men don’t care too much about it. Valentine’s Day has been a holiday that’s mostly commercialized for women. Red roses, romantic dinner, chocolates. But ladies, what do men really think about the holiday? Read below to find out.
Evan Manning (Yonge Mag Executive Editor):
Does Valentine’s Day cause pressure for single folk to be romantically involved with someone?
Yes and no. Really, it’s all about the attitude any one individual holds towards Valentine’s Day. If they place some sort of grand meaning on the day, therefore making it more than it really is, then an added pressure to not be single will naturally subsist. If you have this mindset, ignoring the romanticized portrayal of Valentine’s Day that is presented through social media (and movies, and on tv, and real life couples) can be difficult. And with this, an unnecessary need to find a significant other might built up.
If you’re the other type of person, and realize what Valentine’s Day truly is worth (I mean come on, is there any less meaningful holiday? You get double or triple the chocolate on Easter, so don’t try and make that argument), then there should be no pressure.
The only way Valentine’s will make you feel lonely is if you let it get to you. So don’t. There’s no need to feel any more lonely than you would every other day of the year, ha.
Is it socially unacceptable to celebrate Valentine’s Day without a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Hell no. Saying a single person can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day is like saying a Jewish or Muslim person can’t partake in the festivities of Christmas. These holidays, which in the 21st century are more commercialized than ever, are meant to be inclusive to everyone.
Think about childhood. When Valentine’s is celebrated as a young kid, there is no concreteness whatsoever to the thought of sharing the day with a romantic partner. It’s just another fun day, where kids can hand out chocolate to each other and place scribbled love notes in crumpled up brown paper bags. But no one would ever look a kid dead in his cute little round eyes and say, “Sorry, you gotta be exclusive with her if you wanna give her a Valentine’s Day card.” So really, why should it be any different now?
If you’re single and you want to buy someone flowers or chocolates, whether it be just for a friend, your mom, a TA you’ve been inappropriately flirting with, whoever, then go for it. If you want to light candles alone in your room, drink some wine, and listen to some sweet-love R&B tunes from Usher and/or D’Angelo, go for that too. It’s socially acceptable.
Do you think the pressure Of Valentine’s Day is different for males than with females?
For those that are single on Valentine’s Day, not really. This goes back to the whole mindset thing. If you give Valentine’s Day meaning, the pressure will come along with that, and whether or not your male or female doesn’t matter. A man eating alone at a restaurant on Valentine’s will be looked at the same as a woman. Maybe a little lonely, but still confident enough to just be doing their thing solo.
And as for those in relationships, well, yeah. I think there is more pressure for the male in a relationship to perform some grandiose act of romance on Valentine’s than there is for a woman. We’re expected to really show up and show out on this day. We should have something planned out to floor our significant other. It’s dumb and unnecessary, but the truth. At least, that’s the impression one might get from the movie universe.
And for women, well, the expectations probably change a little in the bedroom. Men, with our devious and constantly sex-ridden minds, are probably thinking something along the lines of, “Ayyy, don’t be scared to whip out some lingerie.” But it’s all in good nature.
10 Self-Love Activities Girls Can Do On Valentine’s Day:
For all the single girls out there, the best way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is to dedicate it to yourself. Here’s a list of things you can do to show yourself some love and appreciation.
1. Eat. Eat. EAT.
Nothing is more satisfying than eating your favourite foods. Take your cheat day, and eat carbs, chocolates and everything else thats horrible for you. TREAT YO SELF GIRL.
2. Have a girls night with your single girlfriends!
Whether it’s hitting the streets, or having a sleepover, having laughs with your friends is the greatest form of love.
3. Dance around your room to your favourite music.
Let loose and dance to your favourite music. No judgements. No one watching. Just you and the rhythm.
4. Two words: Retail. Therapy.
Break that bank account and shop till you drop. It’s so worth it.
5. Try on your favourite clothes and feel sexy.
After you followed suggestion 4, go home and try on all the amazing clothes you bought. Trust me, or Carrie Bradshaw — it feels great.
6. Some Self-Healing Yoga Never Hurt
Nothing says self-love more than spending some time meditating for your own health and relaxation. Take time to make your soul happy.
7. Remind yourself of how awesome you are.
Look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself compliments. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are amazing. The more you do this, the more comfortable you will be at receiving compliments and learning to love yourself.
8. Watch Movies/Shows
Netflix and Chill….with yourself. Binge watch all the best movies and shows until you realize you haven’t stepped outside in over 7 hours.
9. Read a book
Getting lost in a book is the greatest form of ecstasy you can find. Go to the library or your nearest book store and grab one that speaks to you.
10. Catch Up On Your Sleep.
Finally, sleep is the best healer of all. Go to bed early and get the 10 hours of sleep that you so dearly deserve.
