“You’re So Pretty For A _________ Girl”
Colourism, and its affect on the whitewashing of our beauty standards.
To whom it may concern,
I am more than just “pretty for a brown girl.”
Stop whatever you’re doing, and remind yourself to never say anything resembling the following sentences to women of colour:
“You’re so pretty for a _____ girl.”
“You don’t look like you’re from _____.”
“Omg I want your skin colour, you’re so tanned.”
“How come other women from your country don’t look like you?”
“Are you sure you’re not mixed with anything else?”
News flash, we don’t need to be validated by you. We enjoy the diversity of our features.
By saying these problematic phrases, you are not complimenting us. You are not making us feel good about ourselves. You are contributing to the standard of beauty that reaffirms that only European or Caucasian women are beautiful. You are dismissing the beauty of my people. You are being ignorant. There are mesmerizing women from all over the globe, from East Asians, to West Asians, to Africans, to Middle Easterns, to South Asians.
Growing up, all I’ve ever heard from Caucasian girls is how I’m the exception to Pakistani beauty. Somehow I fit the standard that defines whatever makes us beautiful. As if that was a compliment. Such a statement implies that Pakistani, or any women of colour for that matter, are not beautiful. Not only is this wrong, it stems from age old ideas of colonizers that looked to decisively divide our communities, strip us of our culture, and leave a legacy of self hate imbedded in our physical exterior.
Telling a woman of colour that you “approve” of her beauty is an attack on the culture and heritage that still feels the impact of these oppressive ideas.
Tell me, what makes us coloured women less attractive than you? Is it our thick, healthy hair that so many so desperately want to use for extensions? Is it our big lips that everyone seems so eagerly interested in ever since Kylie Jenner made them a fashion trend? Is it our big, deep, and dark brown eyes that intimidate you? Is it our thick eyebrows that you attempt to make with your makeup that causes your entitlement? Maybe it’s our natural curves, that we for decades were shamed for carrying — well before they’ve just recently become “in” or socially acceptable. Or is it the colour of our skin, that you attempt to replicate by spending all day in the sun?
For those of you who have ever felt embarrassed of where you come from, or wanted to change certain features of your face because of feeling brought down by the Eurocentric standard of beauty I say to you, be proud of the curly hair that grows from your scalp, and the dark hairs that grow from your arms to your legs. Find pride in your nose, and the arch that fits your face perfectly the way it should. Look for the power in the tiger strips on your thighs and hips, and watch how your skin glows in the light as you learn to love your colour — embody it.
Because the truth of the matter is, they will never be you, and they will never carry the roots and the struggle that your heritage does. They will never understand the true beauty behind a coloured woman.
And that’s okay. Whether you see our beauty or not, we still slay.
So tell me, which one of these women are not beautiful?
Sincerely,
Women of Colour.
